The Surrogate Partner Program


A 6 month program to increase confidence in intimate relationship and end the pain of loneliness, transforming your love life and whole life from the inside out.


Because what was broken in relationship needs to be healed in relationship.

Get your free guide now!

The Ultimate Guide to Surrogate Partner Therapy


  • What is a Surrogate Partner?
  • Can Surrogate Partner Therapy help me?
  • What are the keys to success?
Includes These Valuable Resources:
  • Surrogate Partner Code of Conduct
  • Surrogate Partner Therapy in the U.S.: Ethical and Legal
  • Clinician Code of Conduct
  • For therapists: Could a Surrogate Partner benefit your client?
✨ Yes, send me the guide! ✨

My friend,

We all have the potential to love with passion.

Do you sometimes feel like you don't belong - like there must be a secret "love and relationship" rulebook that wasn't given to you?

Or that you have to hide important parts of yourself, or be fake, to be accepted by others?

Are you ready to discover the secrets that allow you to show up fully in all of your glory, and also be deeply loved and accepted?

You deserve to experience authentic, deeply connected, love and affection in this lifetime.

But there’s a problem.

You’re becoming painfully aware that your current strategies aren't working.

Maybe your long marriage that just ended didn’t give you skills that translate into today’s dating world, or the current partnership universe. Maybe you didn’t date that much before the marriage and got a bit lazy about “intimacy skills” during the marriage.

Maybe you’ve been on a few dates and every time … you freeze up at that key moment.

Maybe, as many of my past clients have reported, your body feels paralyzed as the whole core of your torso clenches up ... in the most vulnerable moments of your life.

Maybe this happens just thinking about dating.

Not only is the feeling terrifying, it’s also not easy to talk about.

It’s not what most folks bring up at the cocktail party.

Maybe your career is successful and at the same time you know you’re not creating at your highest potential.

Maybe you keep your body fit, but you just don’t have any spring in your step.

Maybe you enjoy tuning into spiritual podcasts but you don’t feel anything in your body related to your spirituality. It all seems hypothetical.

Maybe you have great relationships with your children and your co workers, but have nothing in the personal intimacy department.

Maybe the women you’ve gone out with seem too old and boring, or too young and scary.

Something’s missing.

You want to play and have fun in life like you see others doing.

But intimacy, loving sensual and sexual connection, just doesn’t feel possible.

You know you can’t live the rest of your life like this.

You want to find true love.

You want to feel what it’s like.

You’re starting to worry that if you’re not able to do this, will you forever wonder:

Am I lovable?

Why didn’t I get to feel it during this lifetime?

What would it feel like to deeply love and be deeply loved?

What great things could I achieve?

You know that externally, you’ve been busy raising family and chasing the almighty dollar to give your family a comfortable life. All the parts of your life that show to the outside world are in order. Which is no small feat! … And that’s taken all of your time and energy.

While internally, you wonder if maybe that’s just been your excuse.

You’re afraid that maybe … just maybe … you aren’t lovable.

Maybe you aren’t capable of loving and being loved.

Maybe during your long marriage you tried couples therapy, some books on human sexuality, fantasizing, looking at porn, surfing the net almost aimlessly seeking answers.

If you’re like many of my clients, now that the divorce is final your fantasy-and-porn-game is on steroids. You’ve been on one or two of the dating apps and had a few dinner or coffee dates (that weren’t that exciting, or maybe even felt painful). You’ve surfed the net with more focus, listened to some podcasts, tried to find more “alternative” solutions.

And so far, no real luck.

No real change.

You don’t want to believe that voice in your head that’s sometimes just a whisper and other times is shouting so loud you have to throw your head back:

Is it possible that I’m not capable of loving or being loved?

But the part that doesn’t make sense is:

You also know you’re badass.

You know the universe is loving so you must be loving.

… So what gives?

You may be frustrated, then numb, sometimes sad.

What does everyone else know that I don’t?

Ultimately, if you’re like I was some 20 years ago, you’re afraid you’ll die without knowing what everyone else seems to know.

I get it.

Not only are these things true for most of my clients, they were true for me as well.

I was sitting in my law office nestled between the courthouse and the statehouse, which I had successfully owned and operated for over 20 years, almost totally numb to life.

I knew it was time to change.

Since then I was able to find my own truth - my own capacity for deep love - with the support of many teachers and countless crazy experiences. Five years into this intense awakening process in 2011, I got the clear message that my purpose on earth is to help my fellow brothers and sisters heal their sexuality.

Since that day, I've learned so many things that I'd like to share with you.

I've been blessed with the opportunity to study in person with many teachers in the United States and some in India. I've enjoyed working full time in my own life and with my clients and groups in the mystic fields of tantra, taoism, and Toltec sexual arts, as well as kink and the erotic mind.

I've had the opportunity to work with individual clients as a certified surrogate partner for a dozen years. And one of my deepest joys in life has been to witness my clients achieve their wildest dreams in success story after success story.

I am available to be your guide.

Maybe you can avoid all (or most 😉) of the mistakes I made since I dove into this world.

I can definitely show you the most potent teachings I’ve come across after sitting with dozens of teachers over the years.

I will train you to be in a successful intimate relationship from within the relationship so you have an opportunity to learn how to be confident through actual experience.

I will show you ways of relating that you have never been exposed to before.

If you follow through and do the work, your life will become exciting in ways you were never able to imagine, because it must be felt to understand.

My clients are often able to access deep sensuality for the first time.

This allows them to experience themselves, others, and all of life with renewed vigor and life force.

They often feel true love and genuine happiness for the first time in their lives.

They learn through experience that they are lovable and they are able to love.

It’s no longer words on the page.

My clients are able to enter meaningful intimate relationships as well as deepen all nourishing relationships around them.

With few exceptions, my clients also enter an huge unexpected growth phase in their business, and friend and family relationships.

I enjoy watching my clients’ surprise when they see how many different aspects of their lives transform.

Most of my clients have already optimized other areas of their life … except for ... (you know what I’m about to say) … they know they’ve always neglected “the garage.” While other areas of life seem to flow well now, they’ve allowed stuff to stack up into hoarder piles in “the garage” - the garage being their love, sex, and intimacy life.

If you have optimized other areas of life while neglecting one area – your love, sex and intimacy life – and you're ready to optimize that area of life also so you can enjoy relaxed bliss and confidence in love and sex and intimacy for the rest of your life, this program is for you.

We will tend to your comfort and relaxation first, so you are capable of learning new skills that will last a lifetime.

I know you can do this work.

I know you can succeed.

There is hope.

And even better - there is a proven path to success.

I want you to have the secret rulebook.

I want you to experience yourself, others, and all of life with renewed vigor and life force!

I want you to feel confident throughout the dating and partnership process, from the first approach all the way through to making a marriage proposal if that’s your goal, and throughout your lifetime.

I want you to have more relaxed fun and bliss making love to a partner than you dreamed was possible, and be able to set those experiences up with ease.

I want you to relish your time away from work and hardly be able to wait for the weekends.

I want you to have that spring in your step.

Surrogate partner therapy is experiential learning.

Learning by doing, which is more effective and long-lasting than reading about it, talking about it, or even practicing by yourself at home.

Because you will have an experienced guide.

And in love and sex and intimacy, there is no comparison.


Review the logistics at the bottom of this page.

If this feels like a fit for you, click the button and let's talk.



River Roaring 🧚🏽‍♀️

"I dreamt bigger… way bigger than I thought I could achieve this lifetime. And suddenly doors opened where I can see a clear path emerging that could get me there. Literally went from blind and hopeful to now I have a map and compass and sort of amazed how quickly it happened."

"Today I feel enlivened, awake. The creative part of me is stimulated. I'm reminded of Ralph Waldo Emerson "The mind stretched by a new idea will never return to its original dimensions.'”

You are part of humanity’s new story.

Beyond our individual story is our collective story.
We have an opportunity to create the world around us from a place of love.
To experience the deepest love possible in this lifetime.
And from that place, benefit all beings.
There’s a future where we as a collective love authentically.
Where we feel connected and supportive of one another even in, and especially in, our sexual and intimate relationships.
You can learn to love and be loved.
Deeply and authentically.
The only catch: YOU must make the choice, and take action.
Are you ready?
Yes, I'm ready. Let's talk, River.


Why work with a surrogate partner?  

The best thing you can do for your health is to love. Social isolation and loneliness are the number one health problem in America. It turns out that loving is even better for your health than eating well or exercising. The lonely, depressed and isolated among us are 3-10 times more likely to fall ill and even die prematurely compared to those who enjoy love, connection and community.


What is Surrogate Partner Therapy?

"Surrogate" means "substitute." A surrogate partner is a substitute partner who teaches about intimate partnership by entering into a relationship with her clients or patients. It is experiential learning where the client or patient learns through doing, through experience.

Surrogate Partner Therapy is a treatment modality developed by Masters and Johnson in the 1960's, and updated as it has helped innumerable clients over the past 60 years.

The surrogate partner program is a triadic model because there are always three people working together - you, your talk therapist, and your surrogate partner.  

Your talk therapist will support you while you participate in the program, and often afterward.

We learn how to ride a bicycle by practicing. Not by reading the manual or talking with experts. It's the same with relationships.  A surrogate partner is a substitute partner who helps you practice being a great partner.  

So you can enjoy intimate relationships with confidence.


Who is this for?

If being in an intimate relationship doesn't feel possible, this program might be for you.  If you find the idea of an intimate partnership intimidating.  Many people who enter the program have little experience with intimacy, have been diagnosed with a sexual dysfunction, are differently-abled, are transitioning, are returning from active duty, or have lost their long time partner.

I work with all genders.  The examples here are oriented toward the male human because most of my clients fit this definition.  I have had many female or transitioning clients and enjoy working with all genders.


Check out the podcast

at the top of this page where Karen interviews two surrogate partners, my friend Brian and me, to see if you feel the program is a fit for you.


Certified Surrogate Partner
Certified Wheel of Consent Workshop Facilitator
Certified Tao Instructor
Certified Tantra Practitioner
Toltec Eagle Knight lineage
Yogini Satyananda lineage
Doctor of Jurisprudence, U.C. Law San Francisco
Bachelors Degree in Philosophy, U.T. Austin
Artist of Human Experience

Hi, I'm River!

I help people step into sexual sovereignty.

I've been a certified surrogate partner since 2012, certified by the Institute for Mind Body Therapy, now called Integrative Mind Body Therapies.  I was trained by two long-time surrogate partners Dr. Susan Kaye and Tova Feder. I'm in the direct lineage of the founders as Dr. Kaye worked with the legendary human sexuality pioneers who created the program in 1970, Masters and Johnson.

There are a small number of certified surrogate partners practicing in the United States today and we each practice differently.

My primary focus is on life-time change. I want to be a catalyst for you to learn new skills and build new capacities that will allow you to expand your potential at will.  It's not that difficult to achieve one great moment. It's another skill altogether to be able to create a great moment anytime you want.

If you are my client, I will support you to cultivate a long life of fulfilling love.

I'm one of the most experienced surrogate partners in the United States, providing safe, confidential space for erotic understanding.

Oh, and many years ago, I left my decades-long career as a trial attorney and lobbyist when I realized that life is not about fighting. ... It's about loving.

Details & Logistics

I want this

"You are a historic human being River."

"You truly exceeded any expections I could have conjured up and then some. I feel like I have a part of myself back that had been stuffed and locked away for such a long time, and has been desperately trying to claw its way out into the sunshine.”